In the celebration of having brand-new, swaddled, chubby baby weight sitting in their lap, most mothers are caught up in the overwhelming joy and gratitude that a new baby brings. The world of motherhood is a whirlwind of laughter, tears, late nights, and consuming love.
How to Enjoy the New Identity That Comes With Having Children
Life looks different once a baby enters the family. Motherhood brings a new baby, new schedule, and a new identity. There is a need to hang onto your ‘old’ self and retain the essence of who you are as a person, but to reach forward and grasp how being a parent is causing you to become a new person at the same time. One who is selfless, responsible, protective, and loving; one who is organized, creative, caring, funny, and silly.
It is fine to be on whatever journey you need to be on in the chaotic and beautiful world of parenting, just be honest about whatever that journey is. The following are ways to embrace your new identity in motherhood:
- Don’t Compare Yourself or Your Baby With Anyone Else- Every baby is different, and every mother's experience is going to be different. Let yourself be on your own journey without guilt, judgment, or comparison to any other baby or family. It will make parenting a much more enjoyable experience if you can release notions of what ‘should’ be happening and just rest in your baby’s own timetable and milestones.
- Be Honest With Yourself- Authenticity is key. It is okay for parenting to be overwhelmingly good yet difficult at the same time. Life doesn’t always need to be perfect, and when you live fully within the sometimes messy experience of parenting and truly engage with your children, it will become easier to embrace your new identity.
- Have Fun- Kids have a way of discerning if a parent is fully engaged with them or not, so let your mind relax and let go of your ever-growing to-do list and simply be with your children. Play in the yard, make forts in your basement, or bake cookies together and enjoy having fun with your kids.
- Keep an Atmosphere of Celebration In Your Home- Laughter and happiness is contagious. Your kids will notice it, your spouse will notice it, and so will you. Focus on positive aspects of each day and seek out things for which to be grateful. Your perspective on every day will shift when rather than seeing causes of frustration, you search for things in life and in your family which you love and are thankful for.
- Allow Others to Help- If the weight becomes too heavy for you to bear alone, others will be more than happy to enter into your life to help. Family, friends, or neighbors will step in at a moments notice to make meals, hold a baby while you take a nap, or watch your child while you run to the grocery store. Life done in community with others will help the transition into motherhood go more smoothly.
- Take Care of Yourself- Most importantly, it is difficult to care for children if you are not caring for yourself. The days of napping when you want or running to the gym for your morning routine might be gone, but there are other creative ways to take care of yourself. Even if it’s just for ten minutes, try to have some quiet time to yourself every day with no agenda. Eat right, go on walks outside with your baby in the stroller, and do your best to get adequate sleep.
Being a mother is an awe-inspiring experience, and through taking care of yourself, allowing others in on your journey, having fun, and being honest, you will be able to enjoy stepping into the new identity motherhood entails. Life will forever look different, but it will be a new life full of the laughter and rich life that children bring.
Sarah Sandifer - Sarah Sandifer is a freelance writer, a teacher, an Army Wife, a home decorator, an avid cook, and an athlete. She loves teaching high ...
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