In this age when divorces, affairs, and tension can define marital relations, marriages need to fight more then ever for the strength of their bond. A marriage has potential to be one of the most life-giving relationships, but it takes the most amount of work and care. This happens continually throughout the marriage, but a great way to set your marriage up for success before it even begins is through premarital counseling.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital Counseling is a form of relationship therapy that an engaged couple takes part in as preparation for marriage. This counseling is often performed by a licensed marriage and family therapist, or by a spiritual mentor (member of the clergy or religious institution, possibly the one performing the ceremony). Premarital counseling helps couples prepare for marriage through a third-party to walk with you through issues needed to discuss in your relationship.
Why Do Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling sessions create a safe, authentic, and open space for couples to be made aware of potential issues in the marriage or to discuss items that already trigger problems in the relationship. No matter how long or how short you have been dating, premarital counseling can be a beneficial exercise to take part in together as a helpful addition to your preparation of taking the next step into marriage.
- Identify potential future issues: Typically in-laws, finances, communication, or intimate relations form the majority of problem hot-spots in a marriage. Through openly and honestly talking through conflicts within each of those issues, your marriage will be better prepared to handle problems when they arise.
- Improve communication skills: Premarital counseling provides a non-judgmental atmosphere to communicate. The counselor can identify ways each of you communicate and interact, both positively and finding ways to improve. Communication is a skill that needs to be learned and is one of the most important aspects of a successful marriage.
- Discover issues that needs to be talked about: Many times couples don’t even know where to begin to prepare for their marriage, so taking part in a formal counseling session helps bring light to important discussion topics. History of your own parents' marriage, how you handle finances, importance of spiritual beliefs, values, whether you see kids in your future, life goals, etc. all are important issues to talk about that might not naturally be brought up without a premarital counselor doing it for you.
- Gain a perspective about the health of your relationship: Going to premarital counseling is not admitting that there is something wrong with your relationship. It is quite the opposite; it is caring so much about your relationship that you want to put in the work to prevent problems. Participating in these sessions will open your eyes to the state of your relationship entering into marriage.
So many times couples spend a great amount of energy and money in preparing for the wedding day without thinking of the lifetime of marriage that follows. Marriage is work and takes the effort of both people in the relationship to succeed. A useful tool in helping an engaged couple prepare for marriage is putting in a little bit of work beforehand through premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling can help ensure the strength of your relationship as you enter into marriage. It will open up avenues of discussion on topics that might not naturally be brought up in conversation, it will identify potential future problems, and it will improve your communication skills. All in all, premarital counseling is one of the most helpful resources an engaged couple can take part in when preparing for marriage.
Sources:
The Family and Marriage Counseling Directory. Getting Married? 6 Great Reasons to Get Premarital Counseling (accessed Feb 1, 2011).
Sarah Sandifer - Sarah Sandifer is a freelance writer, a teacher, an Army Wife, a home decorator, an avid cook, and an athlete. She loves teaching high ...
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